Trim and fit

My new draft is going great. I initially thought it would be longer because there was stuff I wanted to put in, but there was more than enough crap to take out so everything is even. I planned out a new ending that doesn't go on forever, but the last draft gave me important information about the characters that I used.

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan

Another Draft Down

I just finished another draft, it came out longer than I thought it would. The characters have voices, there's plenty of comedy (which is what I was hoping for but wasn't sure I could do despite the fact that I lean to the comedic naturally) And it has many of the details I wanted.

Now, I have to work on making it all cohesive. The ending... that's the reason I couldn't finish this in three days. Now that I fully know the characters, I can foreshadow the ending better. So that's one draft for tidying everything up, and another for prose.

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan

... Delayed ReWrition

I'm delaying my rewrite. There's a few scripts I want to read first; I want to pinpoint what gave them their feel, where they chose to experiment where they did. This screenplay I'm writing is special to me, I want to make sure it represents my best effort. It's "okay" as is, but I want to make it great.

And I'm interested in collaborating. I was totally against if for a while, but I'd like another mind to bounce ideas off of. At least for one project... Now if only I could learn how to deal with people for extended periods.

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan

"It's like I'm a writer or something"

I don't know how, but I think I'm finally a writer. Not a paid one or anything, but I know have the ability to "hear" my characters. I still have to write a shitty first draft to accomplish this, but I think that's just so I can see the plot fully. I wish I knew how exactly I write well when I'm writing well because life would be easier without that shitty first draft. But never look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

I accomplished here what I failed to do with my Nicholl's fellowship script (which I'm very glad I never submitted) and created a main character with social anxiety disorder. I'm not sure this could work as a movie, at least not as a feature. It could work as a short, but then it would just be an example of SAD caught on film.

There is a character suffering from Social Anxiety in the script I'm writing. As I think I mentioned in this blog, she accomplishes a lot as a supporting character. While showing an anxiety attack is interesting, attempting to make a proactive protagonist out of someone who avoids conflict at a subconscious level... you need a really good reason to get her up that tree and really large rocks to get her to come down.

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan

Ten Days

I finished a second draft of my script on October eleventh. I was proud--am proud. On November eleventh, you will once again hear my bitching and moaning about how nothing is working.

This is the script I want to be known for. It's something I'd watch. I'd watch it on TV, in theaters, I'd buy the DVD and talk about it on the IMDB forums.

Sadly, it's far from perfect. Not having not printed it out or clicked on the file, I already know some stuff I have to fix. God knows how I'll read the script after being removed from it for so long. I've been reading plays and Aaron Sorkin's script book, so my biggest concern will be the dialogue (or dialog or whatever). I'll be re-crafting it one scene at a time.

In other news, my short story is coming along. The story is actually a story now. For some reason, I have to write the story first and then move on to fleshing out the characters; the opposite of how most writers work, I know. I'd love for my characters to speak to me, but they'd most likely tell me to do absolutely nothing for five thousand words. I finished a draft yesterday, made some notes on the print out today, will start revising tomorrow. It's a short short story (longer than flash) and I already a publisher picked out.

The next draft will focus on getting all the story elements in order, making the characters come alive, and after than I'll work on the prose. One never knows how many drafts a work will take, especially when every word counts (unlike screenplays where there's less to "paint" because the director and actors fill it in).

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan

My New Shorty

I temporarily stopped working on the short story I was working on for the one I dumped it for. Weird. The one I recently dropped was using a story device in an extremely inelegant way. I might have to drop the device and a whole lot of the story. I'm also looking into Playwriting again. Already, I have a better sense of dialogue from working with just words.

I recently came up with a way to rework my new (yet old) short. I have no idea where the idea came from, but it allows me to unite everything with the theme (as everything should be) without having my character repeatedly point to the theme (as he never ever should).

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan

The Screenplay is Done

I'm still sick. Sill. It receded a little, but came back yesterday. But still, I finished the screenplay. 103 pages. I plan on putting 7 pages of self-censored content back in. But that will be a month from now. The story, is pretty much how I saw it in my head and how I want it in my script. Next month, I work on the polish. Polish, that word sounds soooo good.

On my last script, there was a lot of thing I liked. But there was such a big flaw, one that I was aware of at some level, that the story changed a little with each draft. Finally I had to say: this story is not viable.

But this story... I love it. There's so much... me in it. Like I said before, I don't know if it will sell. It might be read, optioned, even get me an assignment. But I'm not sure if I it will be made. It won't cost too much, but there isn't a role for Will Smith. There are some characters that might be playable for young stars, but the two leads are young black characters that don't fit the mold of the roles young black actors get. But, this film (which is just a screenplay to everyone but me) could start a few new careers the way Juno or Akeelah and the Bee did.

I guess I'll have to find a contest to put it in. Word is it doesn't really lead to a deal, but I feel I need something. I'll also be stating my own personal experiences in ever query and pitch.

Brooding of you,

Mr. Jordan